Christmas Calling

There is something incredibly romantic about Christmas. The whole combination of Christmas songs in the air, the smells, the Christmas lights, the jingles, the cool and wet weather, everything! I dont know why I loop Christmas with romance. Perhaps it is the whole idea of going shopping with your loved ones, giving and sharing presents, coming together to celebrate the festive season. I miss all those.

Cassy the rabbit

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful rabbit called Cassy. She had beautiful black and white fur and all her rabbit friends always invited her over to their rabbit holes for dinner parties. She felt carefree and happy. But Cassy was unhappy with one thing, she came from a poor family and did not have many nice clothes to wear to parties, plus, her rabbit hole was in a terrible location that leaked everytime it rained and left the family shivering in the cold. Everyday she dreamt that she could live in a beautiful home and wear beautiful clothes. She wished every hard every night before she went to bed. And whenever she saw a shooting star, she would wish upon it in the hope that one day, her dream would come true. She told no one of this wish, but secretly prayed every single day.

Alas! It did! A hunter was hunting near her rabbit hole one day and the hunter's dog, a vicious greyhound spotted the family of rabbits and killed her parents and brothers. The hunter pushed the dog away from the dead rabbits and found Cassy shivering at the bottom, her black and white fur shone in the evening light and the stark contrast of the colours took the hunter's breath away. "What a beautiful rabbit! It would make the perfect birthday present for my daughter!". And so, the hunter carefully carried the stricken Cassy back to his house.
"Wow! Thanks Daddy! She's perfect! I promise I will take good care of her!", the hunter's daughter exclaimed the next morning. The hunter and his daughter worked together to build a beautiful wooden home for Cassy, and the little girl got her mother to sew pretty dresses for Cassy too.

When the rabbit house was ready, Cassy wore her new clothes and timidly hopped into her new rabbit house. She looked so pretty and all the rabbits gather just outside the hunter's house to witness this event. Cassy thought it wasnt so bad at first, she even got to eat good food everyday! Everything she wanted came true. After a week, the novelty of living in a nice rabbit house, pretty clothes, and good food wore out. And she looked outside of her rabbit house to see her other rabbit friends dancing and playing without her. She longed to be outside and dance in the greenery, go for dinner parties, play hide and seek with her friends. But she couldnt. Her house was a cage, and she cannot leave.

She had everything she wished so hard for. But she forgot one thing. She forgot to wish for her freedom.

Laundry Death

I had a weird dream last night. Dreamt that I was deported out of Singapore and was on this no man'a land, which was actually a bus terminal. There were many immigrants and everyone slept in the buses cos there was no where else to go. In the midst of the darkness, I awoke to find the bus moving, and I got off when it stopped. It stopped right in front of a laundry shop and it was the only glow of light in the entire place came from there. I walked in, mesmerized by the glow, to me, it looked like heaven. When I stepped in, everyone was washing their clothes. Scrubbing, cleaning, bleaching, scrubbing again. The water used to wash the clothes turned into a murky brown and slid off the floor. There were flights and flights of stairs where people were washing their clothes. Then I slipped on the soapy brown water and fell into a whirlpool of dirty laundry water. I drowned and died.

Digital Footprints

I just deleted my old SPACES blog, and will probably delete this blog some time later. I dont know why I did that, I just did. I supposed you can say I did it on impulse, like buying something really expensive on impulse. But now, it is doing something really stupid on impulse. It sounds ridiculous but I feel a sense of adrenalin rush when I clicked on the "delete space forever" button. It is like erasing a part of me and it feels really nice, like erasing age away, deleting a past, clearing a history. If only we can do that in real life. Everyone has their own separate lives when it comes to the digital world. In other words, we all have 2 lives. One in the real world, and one in the digital world. We can be cooped up at home like a chicken but still have a life if you are active on facebook, msn, and if you blog. But if you dont do all these and you dont leave your chicken coop, you practically have no life and no one will know of your existence. So for me, what I did just now, deleting my old spaces blog, I was actually deleting part of my existence in this digital world. If feels good, now you will know one less thing about me. A sense of mystery, thats what they say. And I can feel my identity gaining just a little bit more of confidentiality.

Can you imagine if the whole contents of the internet is being poured away down the drain by some unknown means probably by a black hole in the internet, or millions of information wiping viruses, the internet will become a blank canvas of invisible carcasses. People's digital lives die on the spot, any existence of online life vanish without a single trace. How exciting it must be if you can rebuild your life on a fresh sheet of canvas and create your own lives and how you want people to see your lives again. Everyone would be equal and the rat race begins again.

There have been so many articles in the newspapers the past few months about Facebook being a significant creation in the whole of humanity's digital history. "FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATE PROVIDES AILIBI", "FACEBOOK SAVES TEEN FROM JAIL", "FACEBOOK PHOTOS USED TO DENY INSURANCE CLAIMS", and the list goes on. Soon enough, the law will change because of facebook, insurance agents will check on their clients online for their status updates, lawyers scrutinize every single friends' comments of the accused, divorces result from promiscuous photos taken just after the wedding with another woman, facebook stalking, yada yada yada. If you cannot handle the responsibility of living a double life, don't. You'll never know when your digital life will turn against you. Scary isn't it? Welcome to the digital age.

"If he's pretending, it means he cares."

"If he's pretending, it means he cares."
(Dan -WATCHMEN)


What could be worse? If he doesn't even bother to pretend.

I FAILED. BUMMER.

I failed my driving test. BUMMER! I FAILED I FAILED I FAILED:( :( :( ARGHHHHHHH!!!! I DONT WANT MY LICENSE ANYMORE. I DONT WANT TO TAKE ANY MORE DRIVING LESSONS. I DONT WANT TO TAKE ANYMORE DRIVING TESTS! I WANT A CHAUFFEUR AND BE DRIVEN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I HAD 1 IMMEDIATE FAILURE AND ACCUMULATED 20 BLOODY POINTS. BLIND SPOT BLIND SPOT. I LOOKED EVERYWHERE BEFORE I TURNED OK! LEFT RIGHT UPSIDE DOWN INSIDE OUT. EVERYWHERE AND YOU STILL MARKED ME DOWN ON THAT ONE. I EVEN AVOIDED THE ROAD HOGGING DOG ON THE ROAD. And you still failed me...

Oh well. I'll procrastinate some more about taking my next driving test. DAMN IT.

But I passed all my modules!! WOOHOO.

Procrastination, flashes of lightning, and rolls of thunder

procrastination - the act of procrastinating; putting off or delaying or defering an action to a later time

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/procrastination

Finally, after months and months of procrastination, nagging from mom and dad to get my driving license, and tons of dreadfully long and tedious driving lessons, judgement day is near. I cannot imagine sitting in the driver's seat, with full control of the car, and another person's life in my hands. I always depended on my instructor to save the car from hitting another car/curb/barricade in the nick of time. But now, no one will be there to say "stop!", "turn NOW!", "get ready to brake", and all those essential words I take for granted. Now, I am on my own. No more voices beside me to guide me, just me and the driving test. The only thing that is holding me from getting my license. Please please please please let me pass. Oh God!
On a darker note, I am sitting in my room staring out the open wooden balcony deck outside my room, performing the morbid act of watching the dancing rays of flashes lighting up the entire evening sky followed by a symphony of thunder bass. I am in awe and fascination. What beauty nature is capable of, but at the same time, the beauty can be acts of disasters if it took the wrong turn by displaying and showing off just a little too much.

I was watching a jogger jog in the light drizzle when the sky lit up everywhere for a split second. Even my brightly lit room turned up the brightness by a notch. It looked as if a thousand photographers snapped the jogger's picture in a single synchronized picture perfect moment. Either that or a thousand fluorescent lamps exploded at the same exact time, causing a momentary blindness to everyone exposed. Then, an earsplitting thunder crackled through the sky, so loud that I am sure people from the other side if Singapore can hear it too. Its so scary, the thought of if the crackle of thunder was really a crack, and the sky was a piece of ice bank in the North pole. Then, the Earth will shatter and float aimlessly in the galaxy and life will cease to exist...

After 2 bowls of cereal

After 2 bowls of cereal and milk, I sat at my table staring at my new macbook trying to figure out a number of things. I never knew converting was so tough for an IT idiot like me. Is there even somewhere that I can type my stuff like Microsoft word? Don't laugh at me, but I spent a good half and hour trying to figure out how to charge my new laptop. After a few phone calls and hilarious hyena laughs from help I tried to seek, I figured. Its going to be the start of many headaches and nightmares. And hopefully, a bond of love will blossom after that.

I rollerbladed yesterday at the back of my house. While I was on my quest not to fall flat on my face in front of so many people, my dad was on an even more embarrassing crusade. You know the 2 wheeled skateboard that is very much the craze a few months ago? Well, daddy dearest was learning how to skate on that. I must say, he is rather good at it after only 3 days of practice. He was using 2 umbrellas as ski posts on the first day and terribly naughty little kids surrounded and mocked him.

Maybe I'll blade with my dad again this evening if it doesnt rain.

I love Sundays

I love Sundays. Its my official stay-in-laze-around day. And today was the 1st time in years that I woke up late. Like REALLY LATE. 12.30pm. I know, most of you would be rolling your eyes now, "What?! 12.30 is late? crazy woman.". Friends who know me will be awestruck. I never sleep past 8.30am. occasionally, 9am. But strangely, today marks a milestone and my early morning cycle is broken.

I cant stand waking up late. Its like wasting your whole morning in bed and being unproductive. Sleeping late and in really wrecks your sleeping pattern and does great bodily harm that you wont realize now, but will take a toll 20 years down the road.

Anyway, I just dyed my hair black. A nice change from years and years of brown hair. Its really a vicious cycle. Black hair grows out and I'm tempted to dye my hair brown again. So I decided to dye it black, and see how long I can last without being tempted to dye my hair again. I should really break the cycle, its making my hair look dry and limp like sun dried hay thats bundles together for years and left in the barn to mould. My hair is still wet from washing out the dye. I wonder how it'll look like when it dries. Violet says I look like the ghost from 'The Ring". I beg to differ. Pamela was helping my dye my hair at the grassy area behind my house, which was facing a jogging track that leads to east coast. I should have worn a mask, or wear really really thick make up so people wont recognise me cos there were a lot, A LOT of joggers and cyclists around that time, and they were giving my curious stares. I was sitting on a neon green stool in my old paint smeared white t-shirt and hot pink shorts. My sister was sitting behing me engrossed in helping my dye my hair, and Snowy was sitting beside us and staring back the passer-bys, occasionally breaking in a circular sprint around us.

I love Sundays. Maybe I'll do some gardening next week. I have some sunflowers to grow.

Lightning Galore

Yesterday I experienced the tremours of being caught in the range the feared-by-all lightning strikes. Seriously, I was stunned to the extent I stopped in my tracks and started screaming. I was walking down the stairs of Barnabas'a warehouse, which has a huge open balcony area when all of a sudden, bright light surrounded me. You know how it is when bright light gets reflected off a white surface? Everything seems to get brighter? Like an acidic light piercing your eyes and engulfing you in a fury of brightness. Then it faded and I was blinded for a split second. Shook my head to knock out the acrid sensation and continue walking down the stairs.

And the lightning god says he had not had enough fun. And so, he struck one more time, this time, when I was walking towards the car in the pouring rain, holding on to a metal umbrella. One more time, my world was swallowed into the abyss of brightness. And I started crouch running, lugging my bag, and screaming altogether at the same time towards the car. Soaked to the bones, Im not feeling any better now when I look up at the sky from the office to be faced by dark menacing clouds threatening to strike me from behind the grey tinted windows. I think I need curtains.